In the troubled world of my imagination, the tool that will not work, the cupboard door that will not close, the tap that will not turn off are none of them simple questions to be solved by mechanics and patience. They are part of a global conspiracy to destroy my equilibrium and ruin my day. …
You know, people thank God for all kinds of things. For their health; for their cats; for the scraps of batter at the chip shop. I understand these. But I’ve always been a bit bemused that people want to thank God it’s Friday. That Friday Feeling is surely a myth because Friday always seems to …
It hasn’t been the greatest week at work. Not that the work itself has been bad; some of it has been a joy. But you know how it is from time to time; and I’ve been finding it hard to know exactly how to be. In private it’s easy: I can curse and let off …
It is a shameful truth about me that I am often late. My sister will tell you that I’d be late for my own funeral, which is unfair and not wholly accurate because mostly I do turn up for things and I’m good with public transport. What is the case, though, is that from an …
I once took an exam in which I had to write an essay on the connection between intelligence and eccentricity. I argued that wisdom and foolishness are often closer than we think but the trouble was I had no actual evidence to prove my point. So, in the true spirit of every student who has …
The other day at the museum, I was in what, for the purposes of the Breakfast Show, I will refer to euphemistically as The Bathroom. There is, needless to say, no bath in there. What there is, though, as in many such modern public, er, bathrooms, is a cord to be pulled in case of …
On Tuesday this week, I rode my bike the five miles from home to the bus without stopping, never once taking my feet off the pedals to touch the ground. This is a thing. My route takes me through 27 sets of traffic lights at junctions and six more sets at pedestrian crossings. There are …
Things fall apart. We have been stripping wallpaper in our house and have discovered that in many places it is all paper and no wall. Some of the old paper is very pretty, but when the paper is holding up the wall, it’s time to get a new wall. I cannot plaster a wall, so …
It’s been a longish week, as weeks in January are wont to be. There have been the usual dark, early morning bike rides and bus journeys to get to work. So, no change there. But yesterday my boy Silas went off on the travels he’s been planning forever, and although he’s happy, I won’t see …
The end of November is frightening. December arrives and we’re suddenly sliding inexorably towards the holidays, towards the end of term, towards rest - but also towards deadlines and cut-off dates. These, to me, are moments of extreme stress. Once, when I was a student, I found myself very, very lost on the wrong side …