I’m afraid this is a selfish and slightly whiny Pause. I spend a lot of time travelling. By which I don’t mean that I am perpetually whisked from airport lounge to first class cabin to penthouse suite. That’s what my brother Bill does, selling pizza in Siberia, Azerbaijan and Senegal. I kid you not.
No. My travel is way more prosaic than that. I live in one place. I work in another. Basically, I’m a commuter, by bike and bus, for five hours every day.
So, I set out for work absurdly early, in the hope that I won’t come home ridiculously late. I try to work on the bus when all I want to do is sleep, and then I end up falling asleep on the bus when all I ought to do is work. I miss my children. I miss my partner. I’m tired. I have no time. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
It’s not just my problem. I believe we all feel it. Throughout history people have tried to deal with their lack of time by looking beyond it – not just life but afterlife, not just now but eternity.
Now, Jesus was interesting on that score. He taught about a Kingdom of justice and righteousness that was to be forever – but which was to be urgently sought here and now. He encouraged his followers to care for the poor, the dispossessed – but he also told them to take time just to be with him, with friends. He seemed to say the opposite of what we expect. Not ‘don’t worry about today because I promise you eternal life’ but ‘eternal life will look after itself – so what are you doing today?’
So I reckon that when I lament my lack of time, I need to stop and think. Time isn’t running away from me. I still have 24 hours every day and I still have choices, about who I see, whether I’m kind, how I behave, how I rest. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, my time is mine and when I take care of it, I take care of myself. I get better.
And I don’t know about you but when I’m better, I’m better to be around. Everybody wins. So. Maybe not so selfish after all.
After posting an image from the cupola of the Florentine Baptistery of San Giovanni a while ago, to accompany this post called Guilty, here is another, this time of the blessed being welcomed into heaven.